i dont remember being this emotional~

Rain bled from the walls today and I watched it with a heavy heart as bricks melted over the youth and elderly that walked past. They all turned to stone and some became golden statues while I made a wreath of daisies for a girl I don't know anymore. I pretended not to see the way the rest of the world looked past me and while I thought this was a battle for both sides to see who could ignore the best, I soon realized that I was the only one fighting while my competition never knew my name to begin with. There are streets aligned but not planets and this boy who has been sitting in my heart for a long time, weighing it down with his lazy stares and watery smiles, was walking in the right direction the entire way while I skipped in front of oncoming traffic and made a trail of petals because something told me I'd need to find my way back one day.

I have bathed in foreign soil but never came out a new person and I have spoken words I don't know to those who have climbed from my skin time and time again. Clumsy footsteps over hearts and maybe other organs and footprints that I never meant to leave so drearily. Wrap me in foil and save me for another day because right now I am not worth the pain you'll feel later. Swallow me whole and feel it burn because I am the poison that everyone has warned you about at one time or another. Don't take the time to taste because if you do you'll be tricked into thinking I'm sweet when really no one ever wiped the mud from my skin the day I came alive. I want you I want you I need you I need you, and I do, that's the tragedy. If I could I would peel myself and give it to you in pieces because you deserve something that will last and not something that will rot in your hands from the lack of knowledge on how to be touched. I tied ribbons around your belt loops so you wouldn't forget me and the knots are tight like the ones in my hair. Blood is creeping from my throat to replace the words I could never find for you.