goodmorning, heartache

It all means the same now. Take me slowly and pour me into the river because tonight is not the time to dawdle. There will be no more shreds of life to hand out to the beggers and there will be no more signs of gold at the end of this hunt because the map on my skin was wrong after all and nobody taught us to read upside down. So I'll sink here in a thick and languid way and you can watch from the sidelines since that's where everyone likes it best. There is no room for sympathetic kisses, they burn through my flesh and eat away at the bones. I stopped breathing today and I refuse to do so until I turn into a floating blueberry, because let's face it, that's what the spoiled fruit's destiny always was. Don't tuck me in or sing me sweet lullabies for the words will only kill me and sugary melodies will cause me to rot. Tonight I am your bruises and your mess and your every regretful wound. You'll never find the time you lost and I'm so sorry about that, but one day I'll forgive you for this winding trail you made as the gumdrops are long gone now and I may never find my way home again.