forget for a second that i'm the girliest girl you know

i'm trying to be a good boy, i am. i'm trying to spawn webs of air and space from these already bruised hands because back when i was a good boy that's just what the good men did. they drove bat shaped cars to rescue the weak and their flesh turned green when anger struck their bones and you aren't going to believe me now, but one of them even raced light because when you are built to be untouchable there's no time to waste on fear. i would sympathize with the villians because i know i've the capacity to be one as we are not born with angels on both shoulders and no man can hold an empty heart. but i really, really wanted to believe i'd turn out okay. and i still try to be one of the good guys and fight the good fight but i don't think it's supposed to feel this painful because i'm pretty sure men made from steel definitely would have given up long ago. the dirt i keep kicking into your mouth isn't supposed to come this naturally and i don't know where i learned a filthy habit like so, but i promise it doesn't mean i've stopped trying. it's hard to remember who you're at war with when placing the ocean between us instead of around but i've been attempting these acts of a soldier for so long it's become routine to keep love at a safe distance. this is not a love letter because i am just as guilty as the next criminal. i'm still stupid enough to believe that wings can be won by battle and i've yet to figure out that i'm just losing to all the angels. i really, really want to believe.